Suddenly I see...

A blockmate of mine and I were about to receive our third long test for Bio Lec when she said “Mendi pag yan ok na naman, ibig sabihin meant to be ka na talaga dito” and as I received my score which was considerably better than what I expected, I was given the sign that maybe I am actually meant for this.

Looking back at around June of 2012, I had all my doubts and intuitions with regards to the university and course that I will be a part of. I was so unsure, scared and somewhat disheartened to start the race of my supposedly “pre-med” life. I was pretty sure that once this year ends, I will find a way to shift, if not to another school, maybe to another course but then, the academic year started and things have changed.

The start of the year was pretty rough, so to speak. I was faced with subjects that I thought were beyond my reach, with people that I barely knew and with professors that barely passed the students who were under them, even the most terror ones as they said. But somehow somewhere, I found a way to compromise. I learned to use these negativities as tools for me to cope up with college. I had to sacrifice tons of things like normal weekday afterschool hangouts and internet time in order for me to focus on such subjects. I learned to open myself to all the differences of the people around me and I learned to push myself to study even harder when professors are said to be “terror” and in the end, I did realize that it is not as bad as I thought of…that lately my life as a Biology student is actually pretty good. Despite the numerous sleepless nights, heavy-duty eyebags and missed gimmicks, at the end of the day, I found myself happy. I was in a totally new world from what I was used to and I am ready to explore this world. Although there are still days wherein I would get jealous with the fact that some of my friends get to hang out on a normal weekday basis, and I only had weekends and holidays with them…I saw myself balancing the situation. At some point, I realized that maybe I was actually destined for this, that God had His own ways of putting me in a place wherein I could actually really nurture my being.

Back in June of 2012, I had a hundred reasons for me to shift and change the course of path in my college life, but upon finishing first semester, I had a thousand reasons to stay and continue with this journey. I learned to love the intense amount of scientific words to memorize, the numerous glass slides that I had to picture in my mind, the never-ending arguments of philosophy, and even the voices of professors that scare the hell out of me especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays…most of all, I learned that being open to all the differences would actually lead me to meeting some of the best people I have ever met in my life yet and “…suddenly I see, this is what I want to be”