Ms. Independent

 “Girls Can Do Anything” used to be the title of my favorite book back in Grade 1. It was a Barbie book epitomizing the power of women to actually do fields that are often dominated by men. I enjoyed every page of that book, believing that somewhere, someday I would also be an epitome of the women independence, and somehow I was not wrong.

I have always been associated with independence, although not strictly talking about independence from my parents, but at least as an individual. I have always thought of myself as someone who would and could be happy without the need of a compliment. I loved finding stuff on my own and exploring places, thinking that my happiness never depended on anyone else but myself. I had a way of somewhat manipulating how my day went and how I could easily just control my feelings and turn my day upside down. I believed for the longest of time that my motto would be “mind over matter”…think before you act, think before you feel and think before anything goes wrong.  My friends also joked about it most of the time that I could make it out there on my own, but maybe that is where things are actually wrong.

Sometimes there are certain events in one’s life, wherein the mind just cannot seem to surpass matter, that somewhat the matter seems to take control and no matter how hard I try…sometimes matter does matter. So I guess Ms. Independent is not as independent as people think, maybe she needs some help as well. If superman has his own kryptonite then, I also have my own weaknesses. I guess it is only a matter of acceptance that I do have weaknesses, and that maybe I am scared that “ I am holding on a thin, thin thread”, that I actually need. It is not that I am sad or what, it is just that I guess, I need my own “security blanket” as well…at least someone who would never get tired of listening to my endless rants and my endless overthinking thoughts. I just do hope that whoever you are reading this, you won’t get tired of it…cause indeed, Ms. Independent is not as independent as she may seem.