Agliophobia

Agliophobia

“Know this it’s a universal truth, that people let you down”

Pain is nothing new to human beings. In fact, it is something felt every single day. May it be from accidentally touching something pointy, being scratched by some rough surface, or being pinched by a friend who is always in “gigil” mode whenever he or she sees something funny, but what about the pain the brings about fear, the pain that can be too much to handle that eventually it brings about agliophobia?

Agliophobia is known to be the fear of pain, although it comes natural for some people to actually have the said phobia, I believe that there is some kind of truth behind some other fears. It may be due to past experiences or maybe a traumatic experience that brought about the fear, but I think one of the most painful things that human can ever experience is when other people let you down. Most especially when it happens way to often, or maybe it happened once but it was such a big hit that eventually, whatever comes next, comes hand in hand with fear.

Truth is, I am afraid of being let down. I am afraid of the slightest possibility that once I stop smiling, people will eventually leave, that maybe they like the crazy side of me, but what about the sensitive me? What about the part of me that tries so hard to hide in the shadows, just cause I am afraid that I might be too much to handle for some? I am afraid that maybe there are those that will eventually get tired of me. But I know, that I am not the only one out there. Truth is we are all afraid. Maybe some are more afraid than the others, but in the end, we all have something we are afraid of.

We are afraid of opening ourselves to other people, because the truth is not everyone cares. A lot are curious, but only some really care. We’re afraid that once they discover the flaws, they will turn their backs on us, because apparently, we are not as perfect as we may seem. We are afraid that our failure may be too much for them to handle, and not only our failures, but maybe ourselves alone may be too much to handle. We are afraid, that once our doors open to them, we will have a hard time once they leave it. Because once a person becomes a part of your system, it will be hard to rearrange everything once they decide that their time in your space is enough already.

We are afraid that we will never be enough, that eventually people will look for more, and maybe they are looking for something you cannot give. You know how celebrities lose their fame in a minute, we’re afraid that like those celebrities, our “time” will eventually pass, and sooner or later we will have to be replaced.

We are afraid, because the truth is forever happens only to those who are considered to be exceptions to the rule, and that life is a cycle, wherein people will eventually leave, and no matter how hard we try to avoid goodbye’s, they will eventually happen.

We become so afraid of so many things, that we eventually build walls, walls too high that it will take someone with super powers or Rapunzel’s hair for someone to actually climb over or break them. We put our defenses up, because maybe we are better off that way. We become so scared, that eventually we avoid taking risks, stay in the safe zone, just to avoid the pain.

Despite the fear, and all the defenses, I still believe that someday someone will understand. Someone who will be patient enough to accept all the flaws, and love you even more because of them. Someone who will be brave enough to break your walls, no matter how tough the process may be. Someone who will tirelessly understand the truth behind your fears, and make you brave enough to believe that all the other pains, can be healed. Maybe you will get mad, furious even, along the process because the person will try too hard, but someone will try, and someone will break your walls and make you believe again. When that day comes, be fearful of losing the chance, not of getting hurt again, because pain is part of life, and truth is no matter how deep the wounds may be, they will all become scars eventually.